IKEA mon amour

Tomas Ahlbeck
3 min readAug 17, 2023

OK, so we did it again. We went shopping at IKEA.
I love IKEA…or, love. Detest is more correct.
This time they beat their own record in customer contempt and ignorance.

Why are you in such a bad mood Tomas, you might ask.

OK, here goes:
After renting a truck to be able to transport all the furniture we were going to buy, we spent a humungus time cruising around inside the huge department store.
As we soon noticed it was not possible to fetch all the big heavy goods at the delivery area-why should it, that would have made things too easy-you had to fetch them yourself on a shelf somewhere out there in flatpack-land. Which meant-run around all across the warehouse and try to find the correct shelf which of course was numbered in a totally random order, you still hoping you in some way will find what you are looking for before bedtime-or death.

Some of the objects, however, you had to pick up in the delivery area. Of course, why be consistent? To us, this included a dining room table and two bed frames.

When we got to the checkout it was already five past six so they were closing. We presented the order slips on the bed frames and all the papers for the other stuff, and the girl behind the counter asked “can I throw the rest away or do you…



Tomas Ahlbeck

Swedish Standup comedian, writer & diabetic. Published a few books, done a few gigs. ‘Sweden’s own dirty uncle, brilliant writing and some very dark humour.”